Airports: Inside the Allegedly Paparazzi-Proof New Terminal at LAX

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On the other hand, there’s the “unadvertised” VIP Select service, which starts at $350 on top of a first class ticket, and involves a Porsche pick-up directly on the tarmac. The car will take the monstrous assholes who use this service “through a special gate to a secret subterranean location somewhere on Century Boulevard, to be met by their own personal driver.” (Find the bunker and you’ve found the starting point for the revolution!)

For the plebs, the new Terminal 5 also has a new dining court with a Ford’s Filling Station and “Original Farmers Market,” new jet bridges, a bigger ticketing lobby, and four new security checkpoints. It’s not a Porsche, but it is the opportunity to be treated slightly less like cattle.

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